I'm just tired.

I dont have anyone to vent to or talk to, so I guess here I am. Not really looking for advice, just to get this off my chest.

I'm tired. Tired of being 3rd or 4th in line. Tired of having my time and efforts disrespected and ignored. Tired of having to pick myself up over and over again and act like ever is fine, that I don't care. Tired of being excluded, watching the "boys club" take trips and have outings without a thought of whether I would like to join. I am a tertiary being in my own family. My thoughts and opinions don't matter. How dare I have a voice, when I do im told im "attacking" or "choosing sides". This is no way to exist.