Different but Same

Found this sub. I will write. I read a lot here and on the web. I might have a different store but it still hurts me.

I was always top of my class. Became biomed. Then Comp Eng. The specialist with forensic comp.. Started my own biz. IT to the OnG. I don't write this to brag. I say it to show you... or maybe just myself. I sold my company. Retired at 40. My firends worked and had kids. I stared losing friends as I was in a different place.

I was a whale. In all. I just wanted friends. A way to pass time. Then came the accident. Broken back and Autoimmune from the jab. In a wheelchair.

I won't tell you what I have spent. I help others but I know that money could have went to better causes. I am. Was. Still. Alone.

Do I regret the money? the time? No, not really. I have met friends.. But, we all know these friends are mostly (not all.. have to put in there lol) fleeting. My DC is people looking for money. I am talking a break this week. And, I feel I have nothing.

I am in a small town. There are no groups and all that. Not being able to get out. I have tried hobbies but it is not the same. And with my mind, it is non stop. Maybe 4 hours of sleep is all I need.

So, What do I have? If I stop gaming. Even in the games now the people are not the same. It's like they don't know how to even talk and joke around anymore. I just feel alone and that the games and gaming has givin me a false sense of friends and family. I am divored. No siblings. I don't mean for this to sound so depressing as I am reading what I am saying..

I guess to just say that Whales hurt too. Is there a way out? This I don't know or haven't found.