Suicide is all I think about

I try to think of something else but I can't. Everything circles back to suicide. I don't want to be here anymore. Everyday is painful and I don't know how much I can take. The only time I'm happy is when I'm high or drunk but I can't even afford groceries definitely not alcohol or drugs. I'm lost. I don't want to do. Everyday is painful to get through and I can't stop crying. I'm miserable. How long does this go on before it gets better?