I don’t think things could possibly get better for me now.

I don’t know where else to post this or who else to talk to so I hope it’s okay I post this here. I’m feeling very on edge right now.

For context: my mum passed away over a month ago after a courageous battle with a long term illness. It was expected, she passed fairly close to when the medical professionals said she would, and we had time to say everything that needed to be said. However, because her and I have been like best friends for my whole life, when she passed it hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I’m now at a point in my life where I don’t see how things could possibly get better, my whole world has been turned upside down and I’m now left feeling empty and alone.

I only have a few things left that are keeping me from ending things. My workmate is going on holiday in a week and I really don’t want to be the reason she has to delay that, my house is a mess and I don’t want any of my family seeing it like this once I die, and I haven’t sorted out my will yet.

I don’t want to upset all the people that love me but no one gets me like my mum did so I feel there’s no other option.