Crying begging my doctor for an ostomy

this is my first accident in public in years. mostly because ive been homebound/ in the hospital. i refuse to go out and this is why. but today i had to leave the house to get my inflixamab drip. i couldn't make it to the bathroom quick enough. it was horrible. im so lucky i brought extra clothes and dragged my sister along. when i got out i told the nurse i cant do this anymore and im leaving. if its not working im not gonna sit here for 4 hours getting pumped with different drugs just for it to not work. people were staring at me. it was horrible. had to throw my bottoms out. i cant do this i really cant. i need an ostomy im tired of fighting.

edit: i have tried other drugs. they never worked, i would get discharged from the hospital and come right back. ive been in the hospital about 7 times in the last year and a half. something may work but the issue is the time itll take until then. id rather have an ostomy than kms. my mother had an ostomy, now has a bcir, it traumatized her. i understand the risks and complications. but i am actively rotting from the inside out, building up scar tissue, i cant stop throwing up, its horrible. i could start crying just at the thought of living like this any longer. im begging for a temporary ostomy if thats possible. otherwise, i dont know how much longer i can live like this.