I wish sex never existed

It's almost 3am so if I don't reply, I forced myself to go sleep but I need to get this off my chest

For the past few months, whenever I do something sexual, I'd sometimes get this big uncomfortable feeling over my chest, and something would feel so incredibly wrong, something would just feel so off. And it's not something that's caused like, physically. It's all emotionally. It just feels so wrong. But then when I get this uncomfortable feeling, it feels like I NEED to feel it while I do whatever I do. I NEED to be uncomfortable and feel how uncomfortable it is. I wanna push it away but I wanna feel it at the same time.

This has become recurrent enough that I just view sex as something just so gross. It's just, disgusting now. I'm hypersexual and that makes me so overwhelmed at times because sex is sometimes just so gross to me, it feels like I get stress on my stomach from just thinking about it, and I hate how I have 2 very conflicting feelings about it the entire time, I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I wish everything sexual never existed, it's all just so gross it feels like I could rip my skin off