Frustrating

I’m so frustrated just trying to find clothes that FIT me. A year ago I had just given birth to my son and I had my baby weight, I was around 110 lbs and SO HAPPY! Ever since then I feel like I have developed body dysmorphia and I am constantly obsessing about my weight and trying to gain. I was so happy when I had more weight on me! And now I’m back to 23 waist and 87 lbs. I’m so depressed about this which I know isn’t helping me gain weight. I went to the Levi’s store today with my husband and even the smallest pair were FALLING off me. And then this evening I went to Target to get these Wild Fable foldover leggings I’ve wanted for a while. And guess what? They were way too big in the hips/waist, and I bought an XXS! I’m just so sad and frustrated. The only stores I like or can afford just simply don’t ever have my size. And I DO shop in the kids section sometimes, but I’m a grown ass woman and I want to wear women’s clothes. Thanks for whoever reads this, I was brought to tears when I tried those pants on, and I needed to vent.