i cannot stop sobbing

it really hit me today that i will likely never find a partner who will not infect me with covid. im early 30s. having a partner is so important to me. i also will not be able to return to live performance. the main things i want out of my time on earth i will not be able to experience.

right now i am struggling with long covid and even if i do recover i cannot pursue the things in life that are most important to me, because they will make me sick again.

none of my friends are covid cautious. all are partnered. none can understand.