seeking opinion on after vs before lip filler

I’m still healing, barely been 9 days and I have previously posted asking people about their experience with lip fillers. I started massaging at day 7 and trying to get small bumps to minimize. I was definitely freaking out about how swollen I got, but I’m still on the fence due to being unsure if they fit my face, look natural, or make me look puffy. I like how my smile looked before I got lip fillers, so that makes me sad lol.

What do you guys think, am I overthinking it or are my thoughts valid? This is the type of lip color I use, but now I’m unsure if it fits my lips or my lips looking chapped make it look bad lol