Back to work and I hate it

Someone convince me not to quit my job 😩 My little girl just turned 3 months old and I started work this week and 100% already want to quit. For context, I work from home with a flexible-ish schedule and my mom and MIL are providing in home child care. So I know I have like best case scenario for going back to work with a baby. No daycare and I can see her whenever I want.

But I cannot shake this feeling of hating that I’m back to work and just being SO depressed that I can’t spend my entire day with baby girl. I hear her happy squeals from down the hall and I desperately want to get up from my desk and go play with her. And don’t even get me started on when she’s crying super hard. I sit at my desk in agony, crying, trying to breathe and tell myself my mom or MIL can handle it and she’s okay. I have to learn to let others care for her but it’s SO HARD.

I spend all day thinking about her and how much I’m missing out on time with her and being afraid she won’t love me as much anymore. I wish I could quit and be her full time mama but we unfortunately can’t afford it. What’s interesting is I was/am dealing with horrible PPA and rage and I’ve had moments where I feel like I hate her and I’m not cut out for being a mom. But ever since my last week of maternity leave, my mindset shifted and I just so badly want to continue my time with her and be her main provider. Even though it’s hard.

Anyways I’m just ranting but also wondering if other moms have felt the same or am I just crazy? How did you cope? I know I shouldn’t quit but need people to tell me it’ll get easier.