loneliness in a butch who doesn't fit into butch stereotypes

I really just want to talk about how lonely I am... I've identified as butch or masc since i've known I was lesbian, but as a butch4butch who's short, asian, really shy, and a bottom, it makes me feel so isolated and undeserving of love. I know butchness is more than being strong and masculine and dominant but I can't help but think that's what people usually prefer in a butch partner, and I'm not particularly cute or nice to look at or any of those things, so wow I really feel like I'm rotting away in loneliness with no one who wants to give my mediocre ass a chance... Dating apps have been really useless, I've tried seeking relationships on reddit but no luck either. I'm so so lonely oh my god I really want someone to see me as a butch and see me as handsome and capable and masculine for ONCE. How many more times do I have to try, how much longer do I have to wait for someone to love me for the way I am, and want to give me affection and intimacy...any butches who are in the same boat as me? it would provide me a lot of comfort to know.