This butch is tired…

Ugh, this is probably just a random ramble post of mine but here goes:

I’m tired of looking. For years I’ve always had an issue with dating. I’m not sure why that is. I’ve tried going out to meet people, I’m very introverted, I’ve tried online. I’ve tried long distance relationships even. But even then, it’s so far between each person and what makes it bit more difficult is the fact that I’m into other butch/masc women as well. If I ever talked to one who was it’s always been ghosting, blocking, or weeks-months of talking to then be told that they don’t know what they want with me. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just numb. If someone were to tell me they like me, I would probably not believe it and count down the days to where they’re going to ghost/block. I’d probably have a hard time with forming feelings for someone because it’s always just been a let down. It would probably take a very special person to break down the walls I’ve built so strongly. I’ve remained so hopeful for years, but at this point I’ve recently accepted the fact that I’m okay single. But more so in a way where I’m okay single because I’ve given up. So, I’m just going to embrace that and be everything I’d love in a partner but for myself.

Thanks for reading my TedTalk!