How do I stop obsessing over an ex situationship who I hate?

I 26(f) had an on/off situationship with a guy (32) starting in September 2024 and ending in January of 2025. I became super infatuated with him really quickly. I felt insane chemistry with him that I haven’t felt with anyone before/since. It started off really fun, he’s super handsome, I really enjoyed kissing him/fooling around with him, his company, and we talked daily. He talked about if I was his girlfriend… if I was his wife… which made me think that he was interested in more than just hooking up.

I liked a lot about him, he’s smart, tall, blunt, has a good job etc. But right from the beginning I kept having an intrusive thought that I hated him. At first there was no reason to feel that way. But after a while he blew me off a bunch of times, was generally not very nice to me, listed all the things about me he didn’t like, and never brought me on an actual date. I told him those things bothered me and that I didn’t want to see him anymore.

He reached out a month later, and we started seeing each other again for a few weeks. When it was clear to me that he still had no intention in taking me out despite me reiterating that I was not looking to just hook up, I broke it off again. He said a bunch of hurtful things in response: told me I was full of myself, that all women say they “know their worth,” that me being divorced is a red flag etc.

Then of course, a month later he reaches out and says he’d want to take me out. I was skeptical this time but agreed because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We hung out a couple times but I didn’t sleep with him because I didn’t trust his intentions and he still hadn’t taken me on a date. I joked with him about being full of myself and he said that he didn’t remember saying that and that he didn’t think I was full of myself. That honesty made me like him less because I thought he was at least honest, but no I think he’s just mean.

Anyhow this time he told me that he couldn’t see anything serious with me because I smoke weed (something he knew from the day we met). But that he’d be cool to hook up. I told him I’m not interested and to not reach out again (I also blocked his number).

My problem is I still can’t stop thinking about him. I literally hate him, but I want him to want me? But I know he literally only wants sex with me. It’s toxic and unhealthy and I want to stop obsessing over him. He’s in my dreams most nights. I check his social media almost everyday, I’ve tried blocking him there… but I end up unblocking because I have no self control and my curiosity gets the best of me.

How do I get over him?