i dont want to go to hell

//tw; venting i was raised in a deeply religious household, with intense beliefs ingrained in my brain, im an atheist but im so afraid of being wrong about islam and god in general. I don't think i should be placed in hell, im not a saint, but j try to be a good person and do good things, i donate money to charities and causes, help raise funds for palestinian children, i try to treat people well and be kind and nice, i respect others' religions, whether it be islam, christiany or satanism, i help my parents around the house, i dont force my beliefs onto others, i dont lash out at people, and i try my best not to hurt others. im not bragging or anything, im not even sayinh im all good, but i feel the need to overcompensate for not being religious and for apostatinh from islam. i dont want to go to hell and be burned and punished for all eternity. i don't want to be treated like livestock, and to suffer, but i also can't bring myself to believe in islam. i cant help but feel jealous and envious of ppl who are religious and have so much faith in islam. i dont know how to deal with my overwhelming dilemma. i swear i dont rape nor murder people, im not like that, i dont lose my sense of justice and morals just bc im not religious. how do i handle this confliction in me?? srry for dumping btw!!