Six emails and counting about paper straws

In the last hour six different people have emailed to ensure none of our grants are supporting paper straws. We are health care. No grant has ever had anything to do with paper straws or straws of any kind, but now we have to dig through and make absolutely certain there are no paper straws.

Paper straws. I’d love to say this is going in my memoir as the dumbest thing I was ever asked to do as a fed, but there’s still three hours left in the day and two days left in week.

I guess I’ll just set aside the literal life saving work to work on this extreme emergency about paper straws.

I hope a paper straw ends up where the sun doesn’t shine on whoever came up with this horror. Unfortunately, due to the purchasing card being reset to $1, no lube can be provided.