Girlypops please hear me out..

I don't know what to say.. I've been stalking this coworker because she's the only person who doesn't treat me like I'm dirty. I'm not the prettiest and yet she still treats me as a person.

Just recently she was explaining to me about a guy who was creeping her out by holding her hand for too long. She held mine as an example and I bursted into confetti, her hand was so soft I almost wanted to cry when she let go. I want to know how it feels to hold her, to pat her head and tell her it's okay.

When I was left alone in the break room I could see her water bottle.. I don't know what came over me because I really couldn't help myself. I opened her water bottle and took a sip, the only thing I could imagine was her saliva on mine like as if we were kissing. I keep drinking till I felt wet myself, I felt ahsamed for the first few seconds but after that I didn't care. It felt right.

I read through her journals a few times and she's going through a lot. She loves her friends more than herself and I really wish she sees me as a friend. I just want someone to hold me I'm so desperate for attention and touch pls god just let her hold me