I am in shambles

I finished Onyx Storm two days and I still cannot emotionally recover (I don’t think I ever will). The fact that Xaden had the stone removed from the sword of Tyrrendor weeks—maybe even months—ago even though he knew that his demise was inevitable, because he wanted to remain hopeful FOR Violet, and he had a ring made. Throughout the whole book Xaden is so loud with his love for Violet because he knew he doesn’t have long and he wanted to love her as much as he could until he was still able to. Just envisioning Xaden carefully planning out when and how to propose to and marry Violet in those 70 something days because he was starting to feel hopeful and wanted to have some sort of future with her while he still could, but then having to marry her under those circumstances and then her needing to get her memories of the entire thing removed, it broke my heart. How am I ever supposed to get over them :’)