Do You Find Struggling People Romantically Appealing?
I feel like my title might be very easy to interpret, so let me specify.
When a woman is struggling with a difficult time, or difficult issues, or whatever. Like struggling with depression, or self-esteem issues or other stuff like that, it makes me instantly more attracted to them romantically.
It's hard for me to know exactly what drives it, but I think a lot of it is that I instantly want to drop everything and be there for them. Make them feel better. Make all their problems go away. And make them happy.
Or there's this fictional character in the TV-series "Skins" called Cassie. Who has self-esteem issues, an eating disorder, clearly struggles with depression, and I find her type of character quite attractive romantically. In real-life too.
I think part of it is probably that I've struggled with things like depression and self-esteem issues a lot myself and for most of my life I've had nobody who was really there for me, so I know how bad it feels. And so I want to be there for someone else. And I think maybe another part of it is that my first girlfriend struggled with a lot of mental health issues. And I loved her quite a lot, and I think she was the first (maybe only) person to love me too. So in my mind romantic attraction and mental health difficulties are maybe kind of aligned. And maybe also an idea of reciprocity, that if I can be there like that for another person, then maybe we can be there like that for each other, which I find quite appealing. And that they're the kind of person who would understand me.
But I also find myself wondering if this is at least in part an HSP trait. Because I know that, as HSPs, we are naturally more inclined towards empathy and compassion. So I feel like the drive to want to help someone in pain might be partially related to that.
So that's why I wanted to ask: When you find out someone is going through a hard time, particularly mentally, do you find them more romantically attractive?