i feel like i’m patronized and not respected

i’m not 100% certain i’m infp, but i was wondering if others could relate? all my life, i’ve been the “endearing little girl”. people are intimidated by me on first impressions because i often present myself like an XNTJ, but i can’t help connecting with people, mirroring emotions, and trying to make others feel joyful and comfortable around me.

so yeah, people like me, but it’s like a big joke to think i could ever have a serious career or professional position somewhere. it’s like everyone only sees me as a person that should settle in a quaint little job like librarian or nanny, but i want to do more than that (and be paid more than that tbh).

i feel like a lot of my self-worth is tied to finances and job label; and right now i have a bunch of part time jobs im working instead of an actual job with benefits and stuff. i went to college and i have a degree in english, but im currently very discouraged about my future and my personal financial stability.

i dont want to be the eternal little girl who’s too kindhearted and soft to do anything for herself or achieve things in life. i want to be respected and i want to know what im supposed to be aiming for in terms of the future. im so afraid that i could become the crazy cat lady or something (disclaimer i dont even have a cat)

i dont know what to do, and idk how to change. i feel lost and i dont really know what i want out of life anymore. there are too many possibilities and i wish i could just give up and leave everything behind, or go back in time and make different choices. i just have these expectations of myself and i wish i could achieve them, but every time i open my mouth and try to explain what i want, it sounds like a big impossible daydream. what do i need to do to fix this?