How do I come to terms with being a lesbian?

So, I think I’ve known for a while, like a long while now, that boys could never do to my body what girls can and that’s kind of the only way I can tell where I fall because I really don’t have any kind of experience with another person. All I know is what other people have said on the internet and what I’ve watched.

But then, although I’m so sure, I legit can’t stop crying every time I think about or confront it. Cuz it’s not that I think being lgbt+ is bad or damaging. But it’s like, I have an ideal of how my life should go. There’s a space, a mental space I guess, where I feel most comfortable and I just can’t accept that it’s just not there at all, that I have no power over what my reality is. And I’ve sorta searched similar questions but all the answers revolve around accepting that being lgbt+ is okay and there’s people that’ll accept you and you should accept yourself too but how am I supposed to do that? Like I said, I know it’s not bad and I never want to make anyone feel that it’s bad. But no matter how my body reacts, I can’t picture myself with a woman. So just, what can I even do aside from just flowing through life doing nothing?

And I think maybe the worst part is that I’ve never had a perfect life I’ve aimed for. It’s not like I’ve been working on a life plan where I end up in mansion with a job, babies and husband, but those were things I was supposed to figure out with some set expectations that remained constant in my mind, like sexuality and attending college. But I don’t know and all my body seems to do is cry