Limerence is making me suicidal

My limerence is making me deeply, deeply hate myself. My LO used to feel safe around me, but now I can tell it’s the polar opposite. I can tell she feels very uncomfortable around me. I really hate myself for it. (Been in NC for a few weeks now, I’m not bothering her anymore)

Something in me just can’t accept that I won’t ever have a bond with her. I feel so ashamed about my obsessiveness, and I’m really sad that it pushed her away from me. Objectively, I know it’s better since I won’t ever be able to offer her a healthy friendship. But this is really affecting my mental health and self esteem. I won’t ever be able to have a healthy bond with someone due to limerence. Honestly, I’m considering suicide. I feel like a failure