Scanning in public

Caught mine looking at a girl stretching her chest after getting out of a car in a parking lot yesterday. When he looked back at me I could see the fear registering in his head as he realized I was looking at him looking at her.

I pointed it out, shut the door and walked off into the building. I didn’t bring it up again and it isn’t big enough to sour my whole mood, that was that.

Later at home we were discussing a recent decline in intimacy and I said “it hard to understand why you don’t want to have sex with me when you’re staring at another woman in front of me”

He responded by saying fuck me for bringing that up and ruining time out, and started saying he’s not looking at them yada yada. The issue is I saw it and the look in his eyes when he himself realized I saw it. Why is he denying it?

I told him he ruins my time out by disrespecting me in front of me and when those women make eye contact with me after noticing my husbands wandering eye, I am humiliated and embarrassed by his actions.

He said “I’m afraid to go out in public w you” and I pointed out that we go in public all the time, but I don’t accuse him of staring all the time- just when it clearly happens. Even the women being targeted freaking look at me after.

I asked him if he really expects me to believe every time this has come up I’ve been wrong for seeing him stare with my own eyes and he was speechless. Asked what I was supposed to think when the women looked back at me then? No answer.

So he won’t admit it but cant defend his argument when he says he isn’t doing it. I want to stop feeling embarrassed and disrespected in public and I have this childish man telling me I’m embarrassing HIM in public by how I called it out- which again, was to state I saw it and walk away for a minute. Nice inside we talked about ordering food and sat and just talked like normal with our group. I wasn’t cold because like I said, this isn’t something I allow to ruin my mood while out with others but I still want it to stop. I brought it up when we were discussing intimacy at home alone after because I haven’t felt desired by him in weeks and seeing him eye some other woman felt shitty. He is sober, he has cleansed his social media so that he’s only on the apps collectively for like an hour a day and they’re not dirty. He does seem to try to curb scanning, but if he’s still getting caught doing it in front of me I have a hard time believing he sees why scanning and objectifying irl is a problem, or that he refrains when alone. Idk what to do or if it’s worth bringing up to tell him I’m hurt and embarrassed. Part of me hopes he would stop if he knew it made us look pathetic in public. Is it worth bringing up again to tell him I don’t believe his gaslighting about it not happening in front of my eyes, that the women he’s made eye contact with have then gone and made it with me after, and the only way he can stop embarrassing and disrespecting his wife in public is to stop staring at other women fr- including while alone since he clearly can’t control himself ? It’s so hard to get him to admit to this one for some reason. Help appreciated ugh!