Do Any Actually Work? (CW: Suicide)

Hey, I know it's a little bit childish to keep looking for fantastic escapism in my twenties, but I'm honestly not doing amazing right now, with regards to my mental state. I'm trans, and despite having a fantastic support network and a loving boyfriend, I find myself lost in despair at both the current state of events and my own body. I can't stand living like this, and I'm kind of closer to giving up than I have ever been.

I don't think I'll actually go through with it; I've wanted to live for so long now, and I have so many friends and family that I love, and I recognize that I'd be selfishly leaving them to the horrors of suicide for the sake of a little bit less suffering, something I really would rather spare them from.

That all being said, do any of you happen to have an actually functional CYOA? One that could fix some of this? I feel like an idiot for asking, but waiting for a miracle idly hasn't helped much, and I feel like all the effort I've put up so far has been a waste.

Sorry for oversharing on the internet, by the way. None of you are my therapist, and so I know that I'm just distributing some of my burden on strangers who have no business attempting to support me. Just... trying to cope, y'know?