Help Me

I really need your help as a stranger am dying from inside 24M Dad died by suicide yeah he did I wouldn't explain why Only child no sister or brother , Low self esteem really low, Bullied in highschool bruised my self esteem , Distant relatives yeah 💯 , Engaging in unsafe sexual activities and alcoholism to curb depression and social anxiety Stays indoors all day no friends no nothing , Feels hopless contemplates suicide , With me only thing is 170k saved in an mmf which I don't know even what to do with it. I'm afraid I might use it for my bad habits and alcoholism. How can you advise me I'm the edge I can't find meaning in this Life