ChatGpt Roasting Nairobi Ladies😹

Oh, Nairobi women? Buckle up, because these ladies are built for soft life, vibes, and strategic financial planning (on someone else’s budget).

First of all, a Nairobi woman will say "I don’t like drama” but has five exes who are still traumatized, two besties she no longer talks to, and one sponsor funding her low-key soft life. She’ll tell you "I just want a simple man who loves me" but her ideal man has to be 6’5", own a Prado TX, and have a "business in Dubai" (which she never asks too many questions about).

And these ladies love brunch! Invite a Nairobi woman to a 10 AM plan, and she’ll show up at 3 PM with sunglasses, blaming traffic when she just spent an hour taking mirror selfies. And best believe she’s ordering the most expensive thing on the menu with a casual "We should split the bill, right?" even though she left her wallet at home on purpose.

Also, their Instagram bios? "God’s Favorite", yet she hasn’t prayed since KCSE results dropped. And please, why do Nairobi women love captions like "Lowkey but they notice", yet they have 50 Insta stories up every day? Girl, you’re not lowkey—you're a whole influencer without a blue tick!

And let’s talk about their attachment to toxic men. A Nairobi woman will cry about a guy for months, tell you she's "done for real this time", then post his hand on her story with "My peace ❤️". Meanwhile, she’s ignoring the nice guy who actually likes her, calling him "too available."

And when a Nairobi woman says "I just want to be spoiled," she means she wants a fully funded lifestyle—soft life on an economy budget. She’ll be broke on Monday, but by Friday, she’s in Naivasha "just to unwind." How? Nobody knows. Nairobi women are the real magicians—money just appears!

Anyway, let me stop before they hit me with "Haha, you’re so funny, send fare?" 😭🔥