I am afraid to tell on my boyfriend.

updated

Sorry for the typos im shaking a lot rn. I just made this account because I don’t want it to be shown on my main.

I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 26. We’ve been dating since January of this year. He was the one to approach me on social media back in December and eventually I fell in love and we begin to dat. I was a virgin when I met him. I didn’t do anything with a guy. He was really interested in showing me stuff in bed. I wasn’t so interested in toys and kinky stuff but he insisted me to try.

Two weeks ago, we were having sex and he wanted to do anal. I straight up said no. Eve just regular sex would hurt some times and is very uncomfortable, imagine for anal. But he told me I was being a stuck up for alway overthinking and that he has experience. He told me to jsst let him do his thing. I repeatedly told him I didn’t want to try.

It hurt so bad, guys. So so fucking bad. I couldn’t even scream because he shoved my panties down my throat. Even after two weeks it hurts. Sitting its uncomfortable, going to the bathroom is uncomfortable and he keeps insisting on doing anal stuff.

I have been avoiding to sleep over at his place for a few days now. Im scared to be intimate with him. My mom keeps asking me if Im ok bc clearly she feels something’s off. I don’t know what to do. I love him but I don’t like what he is doing to me.

update: hi everyone, thank you for all the support and advices, even those in dms. thank so much. my older brother came earlier than expected at home, it was difficult and really really overwhelming to tell him, but i finally did. i told him what my boyfriend did then he gave me the biggest and safest hug i ever received, he cried with me. he was really understanding and didn’t pressure me into giving details and asked me if i wanted to report him. he asked what i needed. i dont know if im ready to go to the police so soon. that but i am willing to collect evidences in case i decide to press charges later. my bother told me to keep all the texts and not delete anything. right now we are getting ready to go the hospital because my pain is still there. my little brother is staying home, he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, i just told him i’m in pain and need help and a need big brother to join me bc mom’s at work. it breaks my heart, he is too young and i don’t want him to know

my boyfriend is blocked on every social media, but i haven’t blocked his number yet. its fucking embarrassing but im still attached to him, i wish he could say he regret bc i genuinely love him and he was my first serious relationship. i have muted his notifications so i dont see when he text or call

thank you everyone a lot, thank you. it was really overwhelming all of this. it has been two weeks, but i’m getting worked up about it just recently. sorry for being so emotional and a real mess.once i’m done at the hospital, i will tell my mom, my older will be by my side.

** update; my mother has been made aware of everything. i don’t want to go into details but she has been supportive and reminded me how much i am loved. he has been blocked completely. i will press charges in my own time. thank you everyone for lending me your support and ears. sorry for those who have been affected by it. i saw many of you sharing your experiences and i’m really sorry. it feels less lonely to know others have been through it but it’s scary how many have been through it.

you’re going to be okay. i’m going to be okay. we will be okay. i really want to believe it