I'm tired of being used by emotionally unavailable men

As I write this, he's reuniting with his ex after choosing to get back together with her for the fourth time.

He played with my emotions, used me for rebound sex, used me to inflate his ego and give him attention.

He promised me he was 100% done with his ex. Told me the decision to leave (for the third time), felt right and he had no intention of getting back with her. We shared secrets, and planned future things together with the intention of seeing where it went, knowing he was still reeling from the break up

Then after a morning of flirty chat, within an hour he had changed his mind. He told me he needed to cut me out completely because he wanted to work things out with her.

This is the fourth time this has happened to me in 6 months.

This one hit differently. We met through a mutual friend and she constantly told me how great he is, how genuine he is, how he isn't a player or a bad guy. She clearly didn't know him that well in the end.

As I write this, he is reuniting with her, and I'm broken wondering whether any of this hurt and pain is worth it. I'm wondering whether there really is a good guy out there who wants to let me love him and love me back. I'm wondering whether I truly am destined to be alone.

And the stupid part? If he messaged me right now, I know I'd forgive him.