Only I get to mess with the Pest
Okay, the little Pest is my little brother. I was 3, no 2 and a half years old (as he likes to point out) when he was born. I was too young to remember but apparently, I was not happy that my mother had to stay in the hospital hooked to random machines for his birth. I told my mom I didn't want him coming home with us and why would they need him when she already had me (her favorite person in the whole wide world)
Spoiler alert: SHE DID NOT LISTEN TO ME. Pity.
Anyway, fast forward almost a decade. We were both in school. While not Sheldon Cooper genius, I had good enough grades with little to no effort. But lil pest was not that into studying. He's smart but academics were not his thing. So mommy dearest hired a tutor for both of us (mostly for him)
This dude came with high praise from my mom's colleague. He seemed okay enough but with a feigned authoritative air around him.
One fine evening, just a week or so after he started tutoring us, he tried to poke his nose into my work. I had missed a day in school and was absent for a whole chapter in math class (it was applications of Pythagoras theorem) I told him I was perfectly capable of doing it by myself. Tutor guy begrudgingly went to quiz the pest in his class work.
While I was lost in the beautiful triumph of solving a whole unit by myself, I heard the Pest cry. T boy was scolding pest for getting a question wrong.
Question: What do plants exhale at night?
Pest's answer: Carbon dioxide
T Boy's answer: Oxygen (lol)
Thus, he started berating my Pest. I SAW RED
But, I calmly got up opened the door and went to my Grandma and asked her the same question while making sure both T boy and Pest can hear us.
Grandma's answer- Carbon dioxide.
Next up, Grandpa- same question, same answer.
Repeat the same with Mom again.
Then I turned back to T boy, looked him dead in the eye without saying anything and went back to the wonder that is MATH.
A week later the dude told my mom he can't tutor us anymore and quit. My mom wasn't even mad at me.
Moral of the story- only one bully can exist in my household and that's me.