13 week ultrasound shows multiple birth defects...

Hey everyone,

I'm a 25-year-old guy and my girlfriend is 24. Today we had our 13-week ultrasound and received some devastating news. The doctor explained that there are multiple severe malformations: her stomach isn’t visible, the heart is positioned at an unusually wide angle, one kidney is not visible, and she doesn’t have a radius in her arms.

We're completely overwhelmed and in shock right now. We’re still processing what this means and are trying to figure out our options moving forward. The possibility of a termination is being discussed, and we're both struggling with a mix of guilt, confusion, and grief.

I'm looking for advice or support from anyone who might have gone through something similar—whether it’s how you processed the news, how you supported your partner during the decision-making process, or any helpful resources you found along the way. Any insights or personal experiences would be really appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for any help you can offer.

Update:

I just wanted to share an update and say thank you to each and every one of you for the incredible support, advice, and kindness you’ve shown us. We never expected this outpouring of humanity, and it’s been a huge comfort during this really challenging time.

As almost everyone has suggested, we’re now moving forward with a second opinion. Our plan is to start with a DNA test, and if trisomy is ruled out, we’ll proceed with an amniocentesis for a deeper diagnosis. Our focus remains on ensuring the best possible quality of life for our baby. If it turns out that the diagnosis points to a future where our baby’s quality of life would be severely impacted, we will consider termination—and if that day comes, we’ll definitely be reaching out again for support and guidance on how to navigate that difficult process.

Thank you for sharing your stories, resources, and heartfelt words. It means more than we can say, and we hope that anyone else facing similar decisions can find some comfort and insight here too. We’re incredibly grateful to have this community and will keep you updated as we learn more.

Take care, and thank you again.