I’m pregnant and sad about my miscarriage.

So for context, I miscarried at 6 weeks in October. I guess technically it’s a “chemical pregnancy” but I really hate that word. Because from the moment I saw those two lines, until I miscarried, it was a REAL baby with full potential to grow and meet in June, and no reason to believe otherwise. I have 3 older kids, (2 pregnancies, 1st was twins) and no previous miscarriages. So it really shook me, I didn’t expect to feel betrayed by my body like that.

I, however, know that I’m one of the lucky ones. Because I was fortunate to become pregnant again in December. I am due in August with our beautiful baby girl. 17 weeks and so far a healthy pregnancy. I am so excited to meet our baby and am so thankful that I got pregnant again so soon. We wanted this so badly.

But…. I’m sad. I’m sad that I’m not meeting my baby in June. I feel like I’m SUPPOSED to be meeting my baby in June. I’m sad I’m not further along. But I feel guilty for feeling that way…..

I guess I just need to vent. Maybe be told other people have felt this way too. It hurts my heart to feel so grateful for my pregnancy yet also feel like something is missing in it.