Doubting my perspective
Hi all, this is my first post. Recently I've got LC with my mom who is known to have BPD but I haven't been handed her dx.
Recently she called me for the first time in like 6 months, the conversation started normally (work, spouse, life etc) then she started asking if the LC was going to be "forever". To which I responded "no, but I'm working through things". She then replied that I'm not the only one who gets to make the decision on if we reconnect which almost felt like a threat? She also was saying she thought we had a great relationship and she doesn't know what happened because I didn't say anything before I started treating her like a stranger, even though I've only stopped initiating conversation, not stopped all contact.
The main issue I'm having is that in and amongst this negativity, she said she was happy I'm working on myself because she doesn't want to be afraid of me anymore and she is happy I have access to the resources to get support for my mental health issues. The mixture of positive and negative always makes me feel so confused. Like am I villainizing her because I want to or because I'm dramatic, or is it because I have a real reason to be sceptical about her outreach?
Does anybody else deal with this duality? My therapist recently said that this doubt comes from holding onto hope that she is/can be different. Looking for support because I'm really really trusting that I'm not crazy.
Hi all, this is my first post. Recently I've got LC with my mom who is known to have BPD but I haven't been handed her dx.
Recently she called me for the first time in like 6 months, the conversation started normally (work, spouse, life etc) then she started asking if the LC was going to be "forever". To which I responded "no, but I'm working through things". She then replied that I'm not the only one who gets to make the decision on if we reconnect which almost felt like a threat? She also was saying she thought we had a great relationship and she doesn't know what happened because I didn't say anything before I started treating her like a stranger, even though I've only stopped initiating conversation, not stopped all contact.
The main issue I'm having is that in and amongst this negativity, she said she was happy I'm working on myself because she doesn't want to be afraid of me anymore and she is happy I have access to the resources to get support for my mental health issues. The mixture of positive and negative always makes me feel so confused. Like am I villainizing her because I want to or because I'm dramatic, or is it because I have a real reason to be sceptical about her outreach?
Does anybody else deal with this duality? My therapist recently said that this doubt comes from holding onto hope that she is/can be different. Looking for support because I'm really really trusting that I'm not crazy.