I have the long-running irrational fear of my old classmates learning about how pathetic my life is going

I quite literally peaked in middle school, academically. I was still a huge dork, but at least it felt like I had a good future in store for me because of my grades. God I wish I didn't give them such importance and focused more on having fun, since I ended up being mediocre in college anyway.

My point is that I was acing every class back then. I'm sure some of my former classmates at least remember my name, because teachers would parade it all the time to shame them for "not being on my level", and a lot of people had visible contempt for me because of it.

Now I'm majoring in literature, which I hate, and which is considered the "bottom of the barrel" of everything you could possibly major in here (no offense to others who do, it's just how it's seen). I went from getting perfect grades in (middle school) physics and maths to struggling to remember basic cultural theories, which will be of absolutely no use to me or anyone in real life.

Meanwhile, my former classmates are engineers, IT specialists, computer scientists, engineers, accountants, engineers... Most are abroad too, which a lot of people dream of.

The thing is that I fixate on a specific bunch. Some were crushes, some former friends who I realized too late didn't actually like me, others I despised.

Is it because I socialized so little my whole life that I keep remembering these people? But I don't care about nor even remember anyone from college. Why am I stuck on memories of those from so long ago?

I dread being recorded in public or appearing in the background of a shared photo. Or having someone google me and think "Looks like being a topper in elementary didn't do much for her lol".

I wish I was invisible before high school just as I was after it. Sometimes it's so severe that I dream of changing my entire name and getting plastic surgery to at least pass as someone who only looks similar to the "me" they knew.

How do I stop thinking about people who I'll never see again and who most likely forgot about my existence?