I wanna sh on my face and chest

Lately, I’ve been so repulsed by myself that I feel gross I wanna cut up my chest and face badly. I want to make my chest sting I wanna feel it I hate my chest I deserve that pain and for my face, I just hate the way it looks I don’t feel real I am embarrassed by the way I look I want to destroy it. I want to cut it I need to cut it ever just once I need to. I don’t know what to do I feel like I will end up cutting my chest and face tonight for sure