[HR]Lost in the desert of my mind
I was lost, wandering the desert of my mind when the night came, all I could see was the dark mist and all I could feel was the beating of turbulent gale and sharp stones beneath my feet. The cold, frigid air and the impossibly dense fog took my innocence, the darkness and cold took my confidence, the beating of the wind and the sharp rock on my path took my selflove.
Without my confidence the dark was scarier than ever and without my innocentce I began to see monsters in the mists, without my selflove I stopped shielding myself from the pain inflicted on me by the stones and the sharp wind. Without the warmth of selflove my heart grew colder and colder with each passing moment.
I grew tired and lonely in my wanderings, so looked for reprieve, the various dunes around me offered only temporary shelter, until the gale surrounding me ripped them apart and took anything meaningful with it. I found rotten wood and tried to make a campfire but the darkness around me swallowed all the light from it. I tried to yell for help, but monsters in the mist stole my voice from me.
In my desperation I tried to dig into the rocky group, I didn't give up until I carved a ravine into the bedrock. In it I created a new bonfire, but this time I used my own body as the fuel and the fire grew black, without any light to swallow I had my shelter and warmth. But at a terrible price.
In that terrible ravine I ripped myself to shreds and fed those into the terrible blaze in front of me, I tore of my skin, shreded my muscle and ripped out my organs until only my head, heart and arm remained.
As I grasped my heart in my hand I looked at it, cold shriveled and dry as it was a single tear rolled down my skull. What has become of me. A terrifying revenant of who I once was. I look at my hear for what felt like eons. A great shame overtook me, endless like the skies and deep like the oceans.how could have I done this to myself. My tears flowed like the great waterfall down onto my heart and I felt it, a single beat, weak and pitiful by most standards but to me it was like the beating of a war drum.
In that moment I gently placed my heart next to me and reached into the flames. I put out the bonfire in front of me and used my remaining arm to rebuild my body from the burned remains. I worked in the unending dark with an unnatural tenacity.
With each ruined organ returned I felt I gained something new, something I never had. After I retuned them all I gained resilience in place of my innocence, I don't know where we are going but I will be the shield I never had.
Once my body was reassemble I took my skin and fashioned a coat with a single pocket, not to hide me or shield me from the weather, I gained empathy in place of my confidence, I may not be sure where our paths will take us but I will be there with you.
Lastly I put my own beating heart into my pocket. For I gained love, for those around me. I keep it there so I can keep my hand on it and feel it's every beats I know I can love.
I got up and looked around me and I saw my surrounding for a prison cell I now knew it was so I climbed. I climbed and climbed until I got out of the ravine I dug for myself to hide in.
I saw the mist monsters around me but this time I knew better, they were like me. Lost and wondering where their path is, I reached out to them with my skeleton and hugged them close to me.
I will protect them, for I know what's it like to loose innocence. I will protect them because I know what it's like to loose your confidence. I will protect them because I love them more than they know, because I was them.