A question for White South Africans

I’m 21F Black . I’ve grown up living a pretty privileged life compared to my counterparts, private schools, vacations, access to great healthcare etc . From a VERY young age I understood the difference between white and black- I was exposed to the history of our country from a very young age, and was always made aware of the fact that apartheid existed. Although it wasn’t shoved down my throat, I come from a pretty political background and generally have always been interested in the ways of the world.

I’ve always had friendships with people from all races, my half siblings have a white mother, I would consider myself quite liberal thinking, however things took a bit of a turn when I entered high school, I could not help but notice the disparities between the way my white peers were treated compared to my black ones, the difference … very subtle but still there.

The micoagressions, specifically about hair the white girls were allowed to dye their hair I.e a natural ginger going blonde, but when I, a black girl got brown braids it was considered an unnatural hair colour. When my skirt was the same length as a YT girl, I would be the one crucified… I think we all know why, if not - (pls feel free to ask I’ll explain)… anyways . My question is , why is it so uncomfortable for white people to speak/ acknowledge apartheid/ inequality. I always hear the phase “it was before my time “ or “my family was better” like ok, congratulations for you, but why can’t we talk about and why is it soooooo hard for you guys to acknowledge your privilege ??

I mean I’m always reading about how unhappy you guys are with the country and the way it’s being run. But WHAT BLOODY CITIZEN OF ANY COUNTRY IS CALLING THEIR COUNTRY PERFECT?!? Almost everyone hates their government, so why make it a race thing ? Like realistically the NP government did not leave the post 1994 leadership in the best economic state. Let’s be honest, we were in shambles - so what makes you think that after only 3 decades we would be able to recover + the fact that most of these ppl put into power had never even had a good steak let alone an education/ exposure to a world outside of the Group Areas act…

I hear white people complaining about how the country was better during apartheid ALL THE TIME, but I mean Yeah - DUH cause there was no one else but YTS living a sustained, decent lifestyle… now you have to share with 50+ million people . DUH obviously it’s not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.

Do you guys ever have those conversations amongst yourselves , those of you who have children that are friends with POC , how do you feel honestly ? Most of you are anonymous so please feel free to express your opinions. I’m not Judging just curious about what goes on in the heads of minorities who also happen to hold the most wealth in the most unequal country in the world xx