One full revolution

I'm having difficulty writing this post. There is so much I could say yet much of it has been said a thousand times before. Although my journey feels unique to me, it is one that countless others have taken. I am them.

I was scared. I was desperate. I couldn't imagine a life without booze yet I could sense that what time I would have left with booze would be both miserable and very limited.

Like so many people who come to this place, I could stop drinking but I could not stay stopped. Countless day ones. A conveyor belt of one last drink. A broken record repeating the same old lies. The knowledge that it has to stop but an inability to break the cycle.

I also asked the same question over and over before realising it was the wrong one: am I an alcoholic? Of course the answer would be no because <insert extreme example here>. If you're worried about your drinking then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with it.

You may need help to stop. There are a number of useful resources in this subs about page. I urge you to use them.

Thanks to this place and the sense of shared suffering, shared wins, shared celebrations I've done a full year. All the major milestones that seemed so utterly impossible to reach eventually melted away. All the fear. All the doubt. All gone.

Your stories, your honesty and your words of encouragement were my nourishment. Those early days were so very fragile and you got me through. It's astonishing the lies we tell ourselves, the lies alcohol whispers in our ears and the devastation we will endure to sustain them. Thank you for standing with me as a new reality had to set in. I would not have made it without you.

I have my life back.

Love to you all x