Day 18 and dragging...

Hello there, I'm 44F and on Day 18 of being AF. I started drinking at 16 and loved the way it shifted my mind. I felt more comfortable in my skin, more creative, a little more wild. I continued to drink regularly, but what I felt was a "normal" amount all through my 20's (but, looking back, I made some pretty big mistakes, and had some very close calls). In my 30's, I got married and we had a child. We bought some property, created a small business, adopted animals, started a homestead, all the joys and stressors piled on ...and wine was my way of getting "space" to myself. I'm an artist and I've always felt I needed space to create. Wine seemed to give me that. But now... the last year or so, it's become 3-4 glasses nightly and my body and brain have started to show signs of suffering: inflammation in my joints, memory loss, lack of motivation to do things that don't involve drinking. Drinking before performing (to calm the nerves), drinking after a show (to come down), drinking when the dogs run off, drinking to deal with my mom, drinking to deal with anything, drinking to relaaaaaaax. Anyway, here I am, realizing it's done a number on me (even if it hasn't become visible to others, yet) and I've been so, so tired. And anxious. In the recent past, when I did a dry January, I felt so much energy! This time, not so much. Would love your suggestions on how to get through this part, if anyone can relate. I realize now that wine became my stimulant in the evenings and I'm going through a pretty big adjustment this time.