I slipped up bad after finding out my friend passed away

My friend was only 46 and he cancer that had spread all over, and was attributed to his excessive drinking and smoking. I saw him like 2 weeks ago and he seemed fine. I’m still in shock, depressed, sad, keep crying. I hate it. I had almost a month again, but I screwed it up by getting completely wasted after his Mom called me and broke the news. I’m on Day 2 now no alcohol, and I just can’t keep drinking. I don’t want to die like my friend did, and I’m trying to stay strong but it’s so fucking hard and I’m just so sad.