New here sober dreams

Hi guys! I am new here, I am F35, drinking too much for several years. Last year I started a journey of attempting sobriety. I love the sober me 💛 I'm funny, smart, loving, athletic. But I can't stay sober! Tried soo many times but keep failing and drinking that bottle or two or three of wine by myself in secret. Today my anxiety is through the ROOF! Why do I keep failing, I suck. I have no one to talk to and hope to reach out here. I have a wonderful husband and kid, I just want to be there for them and be the best I can be. I have a stressful job and high functioning autism with a lot of anxiety, so wine has been my self-medication. Can someone give me a kind word of support, or share what you have done to treat anxiety and/or that stupid wine habit? 🌻