No More Rebels - Who To Support?

Long time Rebels fan here. I thought I could follow Super Rugby without following a specific team but that’s not working. It’s become clear that I need a team to support but I can’t decide who.

I’m from Melbourne but I’m open to any team except the Western Force - I’m still bitter that Perth got a team before we did and even more so now that they’re still in the comp. So basically I love being a sad sack following a bad team but also am petty and like hold grudges.

The Brumbies are the closest team geographically but I feel like they might be too good (relatively speaking) to work with my misanthropic rugby fandom.

So, who do I follow?