From Surgery Center to Hospital

I guess I’m a fairly new scrub. I’ve only been doing it for 6months in a small albeit busy surgery center who only does ortho. And when I say ortho its mostly sports med. We do have sa total joints and spine here and there but mostly arthroscopic. Recently I had the oppurtunity to go to a trauma hospital. I never lied on the interview and my resume. They know my experience and Im transparent with my capabilities.

However when I got there, I had some people thinking that I am a seasoned scrub tech. So they put me on my first day scrubbing, in a total knee replacement. I have done total knees but Ive done mostly with Mako. Which is a lot easier.

At the start of the case I feel the jitters and the looks of people while Im setting up. Like judging me. “This guy doesnt know what hes doing.” The case proceeded and it went so well and smooth. That felt good but I still feel this void in my chest screaming when the hell will I really be GOOD.

How about you guys? You remember yourself 6months in and having rollercoaster days? One day you feel like youre getting it and then the next day itll be like fuck what am i doing? When will I be good?? Just so frustrating.