Seeing people deflate when I explain simple facts of my reality bums me out.

“No, I can’t go on that cruise to Italy with you, because I’m struggling to get a passport that doesn’t put me in danger. I’m scared I might have trouble getting home.”

“Yes, I’m looking at other job opportunities/leaving my position working at school, which I love so much. It’s becoming unsafe for people like me to work with children— I got a death threat the other day.”

“Will the doctor/therapist/etc. you’re recommending be safe for someone like me?”

“Before I meet your parents, I need to know if they know about me. Will I be safe?”

“I’m afraid I could be arrested if I travel to that state for your wedding and need to use the restroom at the venue, I’m sorry.”

Seeing it actually register on people’s faces that this is my life— that these policies are real and affect real people they know and love— is a really bitter pill. On one hand, it’s sad to have to break such depressing news. And on the other hand, it feels so isolating and infuriating that people who love me apparently have no clue any of this is happening unless I take the time to inform them.

Just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening.