Why is Bullying so Hurtful?

The most painful part of workplace bullying is the mobbing. How people just mindlessly grab a pitchfork and join the hate-mob.

ONE insecure bully has an issue with you (usually due to jealousy or bigotry)....and suddenly other coworkers are cold and hostile to you. The manager starts ignoring you or treating you poorly. And it's usually right after they had lunch or a conversation with the bully.

I don't like or respect my bullies. I actually feel repulsed by them. My last bully was hideously unattractive, obese, double my age, and a miserable cow. Yet I was still so HURT by the bullying. Why do I even value the opinion of such awful, vile people? Why am I so desperate to be liked by everyone. And why do I let it get to me????

The thing I don't understand is....why are people so EAGER to hate me? It's really hurtful. I don't think these people are all stupid, mindless lemmings. They COULD give me the benefit of the doubt if they wanted to. If they liked and respected me, they would defend me or at least speak with me to clear things up.

But they gleefully take the opportunity to kick down and bully another person. It gives them a feeling of power and superiority. And they were likely seeking an EXCUSE to hate on me anyway.

You have multiple people gossiping about how "awful" you are because you dared to "make tea in the morning" or are "too quiet". They look for ANYTHING to criticize. You can do the most mundane activity, and they will run off to gossip about what a "horrible" person you are. It's bizarre. It feels like you can't even breathe without the mob complaining about it.

It's just a painful and isolating experience. Many people are bystanders who don't participate in the bullying, but barely anyone confronts the bully. And they ALL know what's going on. Some people will be nice to you and show support, but they never tell the bullies to stop.

It just hurts. And the bullies seem to have zero remorse for their disgusting, callous behavior. It's bizarre to me how many of them constantly demand sympathy for all THEIR life issues, financial woes, or health problems.....but then they spend their free time actively trying to destroy the mental health and career of another person.