I don’t know what to do.

I am debilitated and crippled with anxiety and depression. I am utterly miserable. My doctor switched me from generic to brand named Adderall. I take it as prescribed but I am on the maximum dose 15 mg, 4 times a day. The more I read, the more I realize this is an insane dose and has probably fucked me up more than it has helped me. I don’t want to believe my adderall is the reason behind my mental health issues but I was completely stable on my psych meds until adderall. Now, all of a sudden, I’m extremely unwell. I’m terrified to stop because on such a high dose, I’m sure there will be a rebound effect or some type of dependency…even unintentionally. I am also terrified because I have lost such an insane amount of weight on adderall and it has triggered my eating disorder. I know if I don’t take it, I will actually eat so naturally the weight will come back. It’s so sick and twisted. I just want to be happy again.