I’m not sure what to do

Some time ago I was given time for a meeting in one of the clinics for trans people here in Sweden. I have some trauma from my past which include seeing my mother be abused by her boyfriend. I’ve been one queue for almost five years now, when I went to the meeting she told me they weren’t going to help me anytime soon, I was to young and I needed to mature.

This much I understood, I’m seventeen and because of how it is here in Sweden I didn’t expect any help until I was eighteen but it doesn’t I’m even going to even get help then. Before this we had talked about my past in another meeting, where I told her about my trauma. I’ve had some trauma counselling but when my psychologist quit her job I wasn’t given anyone new to talk to. She said that I needed more counselling, I told her that I would do whatever they wanted me to do so I begin hrt in the near future.

She then accused me of being trans because I saw my boyfriends mom hit her, meaning that I was trans because I didn’t want to be hit. I said that men can be hit too, she seemed slightly taken aback by what I said and changed the subject.

This woman who was telling me all this has been in some news articles before, she had quit her job at the clinic before because of the guilt of working with trans children, after reading that article I was honestly terrified. I felt like I was proven right to be worried when she acted like that. I’m not sure if she even acted wrong but it felt wrong.

I’m kinda terrified now, it feels like I will never get help.